I've had the best time helping guys with their online dating profiles, and it's working! I'm getting reports back that my profiles have doubled response rates.  If you have an online profile, you should consider getting a female editor.  Women read between the lines and look for detail.  Chances are you don't know your own red flags.  Be sure to read this post and email me at Kate@AreYouSingleSeattle. I'll write/edit your profile for $10.

Once you have your profile, you need a little strategy to make this work for you. 

I've got my online dating profile, now what?

1. Choose the right online dating site for you.  Pick one or two dating websites and stick to them.  Having a profile on every dating site is like spam.  You look desperate and lose value, and believe me, women notice.  It's also important to choose the right site.  Seattle's Lovelab is a great local website that has many creative, funky, and interesting people, yet men are outnumbered. Match.com is more generic but well-known.  eHarmony prides itself on a high success rate, but be ready for a long intake.  There are plenty of sites. Take time to check them out and see which is the best fit.
   
   
2. Choose who you email thoughtfully. Only email women who you are truly interested in. Women can detect if you are "spamming" them or if you are not genuine.  Don't send "winks" or instant messages- just emails.
   
   
3. Pay attention to her profile.  I know you guys are visual, but please make an honest effort to read profiles and actively listen to what she's saying. Make sure you let her know that you understand what she's interested in and what she's looking for. 
   
   
4. Look out for red flags.  Before you email her, make sure she's looking for a relationship too (and not just something casual.)  Also, check to make sure that your preferences and backgrounds are similar.  If she has children, don't email her unless you're really cool with that.  Same with location and driving ability. Maybe you don't mind driving 30 minutes for a date, but consider the possibility before emailing her.


5. Be witty and stand out.  Keep in mind that a lot of women get many emails on dating websites.  I hate to tell you, but, guys, you're outnumbered.  In order to get her attention and inspire her to write you back, be engaging and witty.  Ask her a question, tell her a funny story, and really reach out and speak to her like she's sitting at a coffee shop next to you. 


6. Know when to email.  If you send an email and she doesn't respond, don't email her back!  Believe me- she got the message, and she's not interested.  Send one email and respond only after she responds to you.  Please don't take it personally if she doesn't get back to you.  It's not a big deal- just move on and find someone else who sparks your interest.


7. It's all about timing.  There's no need for rapid fire emails.  If you send an email and she responds shortly there after, you don't have to send a second email immediately.  Sweet interactions are even sweeter with time... but don't wait too long!  Women are really turned off if you wait too long.  I know it's tricky, but keep things moving at a moderate speed.


8. If you want to see more photos... Be diplomatic about this. We know men like to see what we're working with, but ask nicely and with genuine interest.  Try something like, "I'd love to see more photos of you.  Here are some fun ones of me."  (Attach extra photos to the email.) 
   
    
9. Ask her on a date or call her after several emails. This is another timing issue.  Don't ask a woman on a date immediately. Women can feel like they are in a vulnerable position with online dating, so go easy.  On the other hand, don't take too long to move it along.  You don't want to develop any feelings for someone before you meet them in person.  Wait until you've sent 3-4 emails each before asking her out or asking for her number.
   
   
10. If she says yes, jump on it. It's important to keep momentum up, so if she agrees to a date or a phone call, jump on it.  Plan a date (call me if you need ideas) and get it scheduled.  If she gives you her number, call her within 24 hours.  Women love a man with a plan.
    
    
11. Make her feel secure. Because women can feel vulnerable dating online, be polite and don't ask her where she lives or anything too personal.  You'll get there over time, but be easy starting off. Some women may want to email a little more before meeting in person.  Respect this and make her feel like that's okay.
    
    
12. Don't talk about sex or politics.  These are two subjects that should be saved for later when you're really getting to know one another.  Keep it light and show her your confidence.

Dating can be confusing and difficult.  If you need help, don't hesitate to call me at 206 588 KATE.  I can help you with any of your dating issues- $20 for 60 minutes or less, $15 for 20 minutes or less. Check out AreYouSingleSeattle.com for more info.